lost time

It's been about a month. I crashed at Omega just days after my 50th celebration.
Larry and I had a lovely dinner in Amenia at Serevan. Weeks later, I can't remember what I actually ate, but just that it was a perfect summer night, complete with rainstorms. It traditionally rains on my birthday - thunderstorms actually - which I love.
Now, it's July 4th, a rainy one at that, and I am over my birthday but still adjusting to life after Omega.
All year, for the last 4, I have looked forward to my artist in residency at one of the nation's first holistic learning centers. And every year, my life shift subtly aftewards.
I'm having difficulty on reentry. Just as I had difficulty in settling in. A week and a half later, it seems like a century ago. But as usual, I am changed. The usual humdrum seems not only humdrum, but unbearable.
For three weeks, I woke at 5am, stayed in bed til 7, and crashed at 10 or 11. Back into my regular life, the television is a constant assault. Three weeks without was heaven.
I miss the sauna. Having meals prepared. Not having to do dishes. And having my schedule predetermined. Whenever I was scheduled to be in the art hut, I added an hour previous, to smudge and set the intention of the workshop. It was an amazing opportunity to delve into the sacred, and integrate it into daily life.
I miss that. Already I am rushing daily. Still, I am drumming space. And lighting sage. But the hub bub of worldly life takes over.
It's July 4th. Larry and I went to see Live Free or Die Hard, and at first I was assaulted by the intensity, but relaxed into the entertainment ultimately.
Now, back at the house, a fire in the fireplace, candles burning, a few glasses of wine later, I attempt to celebrate life. Independence? I'm not so sure. But a day off at least.
The patter of the rain is soothing.
I've been sleeping really hard, and late.
Strange dreams. Strange waking life too.