the great gift

One of the great gifts of 50 years/50 ways is the way in which it has made it so easy for me to treat myself.
If I counted every little thing I've done for myself I'd end up way over 50 by the end of the year. And that's a good thing.
It's funny how we get into a little habit of denying ourself small things, in the interest of saving money, or being practical. Getting out of that habit, into one of indulgence is a good thing for someone like me, who has a tendency to hold tight reins in wierd ways.
There's something adolescent about turning 50. It feels like a reminder, or a reason, to rebel a bit. Go out on a limb. Live a little.
What I don't want to do is become one of those nasty 70 year olds who thinks that they have every right to be rude and obnoxious simply because they've been on the planet that long. My guess is that these folks haven't used their turnings of age to find truer paths.
I intend this 51st year to be one of exploration and expansion. I may flail around a bit, but life is a process. There aren't any shortcuts. Well, in truth there are, but maybe they just balance out the long and winding roads we sometimes take for sight seeing, and others because we're a little bit lost.